Category Archives: Personal development

A két kaktusz (Two Cactuses)

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I owe thanks for this story to Attila Mislai who translated it.

„Borzasztó!”, jajveszékelt egy kaktusz, „Akkora tüskéim vannak, hogy egyetlen állat sem mer a közelembe jönni. Se madár, se gyík, de még a legparányibb hangya sem. Annyira magányos vagyok!”

„Te panaszkodsz?”, förmedt rá a társa. „Az én tüskéim olyan vékonyak és puhák, olyan gyengék, hogy nem tudom megvédeni magamat. Egyetlen állat sem tart tiszteletben. A gyíkok fel-le mászkálnak rajtam, csiklandoznak aprócska lábaikkal, a madarak oly mélyen vájják csőrüket a húsomba, hogy az már fáj. Utálom az egészet!”

„Mázlista!”, mondta az első kaktusz, „ a gyökereimet is odaadnám egy ilyen élményért!” „Istenkém, bárcsak érezhetném magamon az élet lüktetését!” És csak hajtogatták, csak sírták egymásnak a bajukat hosszasan. Mígnem egyszer nagyszerű gondolatuk támadt: ha kicserélik a tüskéiket, átélhetik egymás örömét. S rövid ideig, csakugyan, mindketten boldogok voltak. Az egyik attól, hogy élvezhette a madarak és gyíkok társaságát, a másik azért, mert végre elmerülhetett a nyugalomban és csendben. De nem tartott soká, kisvártatva újra siránkozni kezdtek. Az egyik fárasztónak, a másik unalmasnak találta új életét, sóvárgott a régi után, így azután visszacseréltek mindent. A megkönnyebbülés persze megint hamar elszállt, és az egész kezdődött elölről.

Egyszer arra járt egy bölcs, öreg kígyó és megpihent az árnyékukban. Egy ideig hallgatta, ahogy egymás szavába vágva mondják a magukét, majd halkan megjegyezte: „Sopánkodás helyett inkább tanulnátok egymástól”. Azzal tovasiklott.

A két kaktusz három éjjel és három nap törte fejét a kígyó szavain. Próbálták megérteni, hogy sikerült olyan különleges tüskéket nevelniük. Tanítani kezdték egymást, megosztották a tapasztalataikat. Némi gyakorlás után végre pontosan tudták, hogy lehet erősebb és nagyobb, vagy épp finomabb és lágyabb tüskéket növeszteni. Minél többet kísérleteztek, annál ügyesebbek lettek, ezerféle színes tüske sarjadt igyekezetük folytán.

Így már képesek voltak egyensúlyt teremteni a csendes nyugalom és az életteli nyüzsgés között. És a bölcs kis kígyó kedvéért mindig fenntartottak egy puha árnyékfoltot kettejük között.

This story in English https://www.stefanhammel.com/blog/2016/02/10/3020/

Seminars with Stefan Hammel in 2025

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Here is an overview of the seminars, workshops, lectures and congresses with Stefan Hammel planned in 2025.

The Kaiserslautern seminars will take place “hybrid”, i.e. with physical AND digital participants. Feel free to ask!

Occasional events may still be added! Participant feedback on the video seminars can be found here!

2025

March 04, 2025, 7-9 p.m.: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

March, 6.- 9, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Trainer seminar 3: TH – body language, multi-level communication, utilization

March, 14.- 15, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic storytelling, Seminar 2: Writing good therapeutic stories – in 10 minutes & proven narrative structures

March, 27.- 30, 2025: Kassel, MEG Annual Conference 2025: Therapeutic greetings and other brief interventions in working with traumatized people (Info: www.meg-hypnose.de/veranstaltungen)

April, 1st, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

April, 11.- 12, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Storytelling, Seminar 3: The Island of Love – Maps and Landscapes in Individual, Couple and Family Therapy

May, 6th, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

May, 16.- 17, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Storytelling, Seminar 4: Therapeutic Greetings, Deals & Ordeals and other Brief Interventions

June, 3rd, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

June, 6.- 7, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Modeling, Seminar 1: Introduction to Therapeutic Modeling

June, 12-15, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Trainer seminar 4: TH – Thematic seminar: Addiction and eating disorders

July, 1st, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

July, 4.- 5, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Modeling, Seminar 2: Working with symbolic figures and fragmenting and transforming burdens

July, 24.- 25, 2025: Munich, SySt: The Sofa of Happiness – Therapeutic Modeling with Individuals and Couples

August, 5th, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

August, 29.- 30, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Modeling, Seminar 3: Transgenerational work and integration of real and fictitious persons from the client’s external world

September, 2nd, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

September, 4.- 7, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Trainer seminar 5: TE – Developing metaphors and stories

September, 19.- 20, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Modeling, Seminar 4: The Sofa of Happiness – Therapeutic Modeling in Couple and Family Therapy, with Teams and Groups

October, 7th, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

October, 10.- 12, 2025: Vallendar/ Rhine-Main area: 5th International Festival of Therapeutic Storytelling: Lecture and workshop, Therapeutic Greetings and other short interventions (Info: www.erzaehl-festival.de)

October, 17.- 18, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Hypnosis, Seminar 1: Trance Inductions and Trance Phenomena in Ericksonian Hypnotherapy

November, 4th, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

November, 6.-8, 2025,  Balsthal / Switzerland, SMSH annual conference: Tinnitus – Why it comes when it comes, why it stays when it stays, why it goes when it goes. (Info: www.smsh.ch)

November, 9th, 2025, Wuppertal, Bernd Isert Systemic Conference: Introduction to Therapeutic Modeling: (Systemische Tagung Bernd Isert): Einführung in das Therapeutische Modellieren (Info: www.nlp-ausbildungsinstitut.de)

November, 14.- 15, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic Hypnosis, Seminar 2: Therapy Structure – Anamnesis – Utilization: Transforming Problems into Solutions

December, 2nd, 2025, 7-9 pm: Online, Zoom, free of charge: Online event “Hypnosystemic bag of tricks – everyday miracles in counseling, pastoral care and therapy” (every 1st Tuesday of the month)

December, 4.- 7, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Trainer seminar 6: TE – Therapeutic maps and landscapes

December, 12.- 13, 2025: Kaiserslautern, hsb – Hypnosystemic training, Therapeutic hypnosis, Seminar 3: Body language, voice and verbal implications (multi-level communication) 

Best regards from Kaiserslautern!

Stefan

Kwiat z Wyspy

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The story “The Island Flower” has been translated to Polish by Aleksandra Piatek (pronounced “Piontek”). Thank you Aleksandra!

Na małej wyspie pośrodku szerokiego oceanu wyrósł cudowny, złocisto-żółty kwiat. Nikt nie wiedział, jak się tam znalazł, ponieważ na wyspie nie było innych kwiatów tego rodzaju. Mewy przylatywały, aby z zachwytem przyjrzeć się temu cudowi. „Jest tak piękny jak słońce” – mówiły. „Jest tak piękny jak kawałek korala” – mówiły ryby. „Jest tak piękny jak perła na morskim dnie” – powiedział krab, który wyszedł na ląd, aby go obejrzeć. I prawie codziennie przybywały, by podziwiać ten kwiat.

Pewnego dnia, gdy znów przybyły, aby zobaczyć kwiat, odkryły, że złote płatki są brązowe i wysuszone. „Ojej” – powiedziały mewy, ryby i kraby. „Słońce zniszczyło nasz kwiat. Jak teraz możemy odświeżyć nasze serca?” Wszyscy byli smutni. Jednak kilka dni później, w miejscu kwiatu, pojawiła się cudowna, delikatna biała kula. „Co to jest?” – zapytały zwierzęta.

„Jest miękka jak chmura” – mówiły mewy. „Jest lekka jak morska bryza” – powiedziały ryby. „Jest delikatna jak blask słońca na piasku” – dodał krab. I wszyscy cieszyli się. Powiew wiatru porwał tę białą cudowność i rozrzucił ją po wyspie w tysiącach drobnych płatków. „Ojej” – westchnęły mewy, ryby i kraby. „Wiatr porwał naszą kulę. Co teraz rozweseli nasze dusze?” Wszyscy byli smutni.

Pewnego poranka, gdy słońce wschodziło nad morzem, setki, a nawet tysiące cudownych złocisto-żółtych kwiatów zakwitło w złotym porannym świetle. Mewy tańczyły na niebie, ryby w wodzie, a kraby tańczyły radośnie ze swoimi przyjaciółmi, i wszyscy byli szczęśliwi. (…)

(From: Stefan Hammel: The Blade of Grass in the Desert, impress 2012)

The book is available in my Onlineshop.

Kind regards, Stefan

“Hammel Digital” – AI assistant for utilization and supervision

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I asked an AI developer to build me a chatbot with offers for therapeutic interventions based on my manual for therapeutic utilization, among other things.

The prototype has been refined and improved over the last few months.

You can find the AI assistant for Utilization and Supervision embedded in my

🔗 Blog.

If you feel like it, you can play around with it (e.g. ask: “my client suffers from moth phobia and tinnitus, how can I help her therapeutically / do you have a story I can tell her) and write me what positive / negative experiences you have had with it and what you think should be improved.

The AI also works if you speak to him in other languages.

I look forward to your feedback 📧.

Your Stefan

Koń i Jeździec

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I owe thanks to Aleksandra Piatek for translating the story “Horse and Rider”.

Obserwowałam jeźdźca trenującego konia. Kobieta była niska i delikatna. Wałach, na którym jeździła, był pełen energii. W każdej chwili mógłby ją zrzucić, ale nie o to tu chodziło. Dwie dusze zmagały się ze sobą. „Kto prowadzi?” – to pytanie unosiło się w powietrzu. Kobieta nie spieszyła się z koniem. Chciała go ujarzmić, ale nie złamać jego ducha. Pragnęła jego szacunku i zaufania. Ostatecznie wygrała ten pojedynek i wierzę, że oboje byli szczęśliwi.

(From: Stefan Hammel: The Blade of Grass in the Desert, impress 2012)

The book is available in my Onlineshop.

Kind regards, Stefan

Margaret i Lucy

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The story “Margaret and Lucy” has been translated to Polish by Aleksandra Piatek (pronounced “Piontek”). Thank you Aleksandra!

Kiedyś w małej szczelinie między kamieniami muru mieszkały dwie jaszczurki. Nazywały się Margaret i Lucy. Lucy leżała na murze cały dzień, wygrzewając się na słońcu. Margaret większość czasu spędzała, polując na owady dla siebie i swoich dzieci. Czuła irytację, gdy widziała Lucy na murze.

„Jak możesz tak marnować czas! Gdybyś była porządną jaszczurką, zajmowałabyś się swoimi dziećmi. Co ty tam robisz cały dzień?” – zapytała. Oczy Lucy zalśniły, a ona odpowiedziała: „Zbieram energię. Widzisz, robię coś dla moich dzieci”.

„Widzę to inaczej” – burknęła Margaret. „I poza tym, nie zdziwię się, jeśli pewnego dnia jakiś myszołów albo jastrząb porwie cię z tego muru”. „Zobaczymy” – odparła Lucy, wyciągając się na słońcu.

Margaret wolała spędzać czas, ścigając mrówki. W ostatnich dniach wyglądała na wyczerpaną. Czasami jej życie było zagrożone: brakowało jej zwinności potrzebnej, aby uciec przed łasicą czy kotem.

Dzieci Lucy jednak stały się silne i szybkie, jak ich matka. Wkrótce łapały największe pająki, najszybsze biegnące żuki, a nawet ogromne ważki. Ich ulubionym zajęciem było jednak leżenie na murze i wyciąganie się w słońcu.

(From: Stefan Hammel: The Blade of Grass in the Desert, impress 2012)

The book is available in my Onlineshop.

Kind regards, Stefan

The Replanted Tree

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The story “The Replanted Tree” is designed in particular for children finding
it hard to come to terms with a new living situation after a house move
or adoption, or after their parents have divorced and the family has been
restructured. Once again, it is a good idea to refer to a minor injury in the
story in order to incorporate the problem which the listener is facing and its
predicted improvement without lending too much gravity to the story (and by
analogy to the way in which the patient handles the associated situation in his
or her life). The story can also be used for patients who are forced – for agerelated
or health- related reasons – to move out of their own house in order to
go and live with family or in a home, or adults with disabilities who are forced
to move away from their families and into sheltered accommodation.

One day a gardener was working in his garden when he found a small tree
right in the middle of some shady undergrowth. “A shadbush!” he cried.
“How on earth did that get here?” He would never have suspected that
such a beautiful and valuable tree could be found in such a dark location.
Perhaps the wind or a bird had carried its seeds there?
The gardener thought carefully about what he should do next. He
knew that it is sometimes diffi cult to move a plant to a different location,
but he also knew that his shadbush would never grow into a large, strong
and beautiful tree if it stayed here in the shade. So he decided to replant it
in a different location, where it would get enough sun and wind to thrive
and fl ourish. He took his spade and dug out a broad ring of soil around
the trunk of the tree before digging a hole in the ground where he wanted
the tree to grow and placing the shadbush there, root ball and all. He then
fi lled the hole back up with soil, added exactly the right amount of fertiliser,
and gave the plant a good watering.
When he looked at his tree the next day, he was dismayed to see that all
the leaves on it were drooping. He thought to himself that the tree’s roots
had probably extended a long way under the ground before it had been
dug up, and that it must have lost some of its tiniest hair- like roots. The
tree would need to conserve its energy to heal these injuries, but it should
be able to regrow its roots, and so the gardener decided to give his tree the
best possible care and simply be patient. He waited and gave the tree all
the time it needed, and soon the leaves had indeed regained their former
strength. After a few months the tree was a fi ne specimen, and after a few
years it had grown into a large and strong tree.

Terminé!

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« Terminé! » , cria l’œuf quand il fut pondu. « Maintenant terminé! » , cria le tétard quand il fut sortie de l’œuf. « Maintenant je suis au complet! », cria la créature quand elle eut deux pattes. « Je suis enfin au complet de la tête aux pieds! » , cria l’être, quand il eut quatre pattes et une longue queue. « Qui sait ce qui va désormais encore se produire… » , dit la grenouille quand elle fut terminée.

Le loup de mer et le loup de terre

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Un jour, le loup de mer reҫu la visite du loup de terre. Les deux se connaissaient déjà depuis l’école des loups. Le loup de mer avait parcouru le monde et vécut beaucoup d’aventures et il rentra chez lui riche de trésors et d’expériences. Le loup de terre était resté chez soi dans sa tannière. Il rencontra une louve de terre et eut des louveteaux de terre. Et maintenant, il a beaucoup de petits-louveteaux et des arrière-petits-louveteaux, et tous sont devenus de vrais, bons loups de terre.

«Parfois j’aimerais refaire ma vie», dit le loup de terre au loup de mer. «C’est la même chose pour moi», dit ce dernier. «Je ferais beaucoup de choses différemment», dit le loup de terre. «Oui, moi aussi», répondit le loup de mer. «Je naviguerais les océans», rêva le loup de terre. «Je me marierais», soupira le loup de mer. «Je vivrais des aventures», expliqua le loup de terre. «J’aurais des louveteaux», dit le loup de mer. «Je serais un loup de mer riche. J’aurais vécu des expériences  périlleuses et magnifiques, dont je pourrais raconter les histoires», dit le loup de terre avec enthousiasme. «Moi, j’aurais des petits-enfants et des arrière-petits-enfants qui m’aimeraient et qui s’occuperaient de moi quand je serais vieux et malade», assura le loup de mer.

«Et ce serait moi qui serait maintenant assis avec toi dans cette tannière de loup de mer», continua le loup de terre, « …et moi avec toi… », rajouta le loup de mer. Le loup de terre hocha la tête : «Et puis maintenant tu me dirais : “Parfois, j’aimerais bien refaire ma vie” et moi, je répondrais : “Oui, c’est la même chose pour moi.”»

At Dying Beds

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At dying beds I’ve experienced a lot of silence – which felt at times good, at times disturbing. Dying people will be almost always be in coma in their last hours (and, mostly, days). What hinders us from speaking with the dying?

  • As family members, we may be in a shock state, frozen or confused.
  • We may be insecure if they hear and understand us.
  • We may be insecure what is relevant and helpful for them.
  • We may feel insecure what the staff thinks of us if we behave unconventional.
But surely, if we find out what hinders us from speaking and acting, this can free us and widen the range of our possibilities, to the benefit of both ourselves and the patient.

Sometimes it’s extremely difficult to notice and interpret any nonverbal reactions of coma patients. In other cases we need to sharpen our senses. With no other body reactions left, often there are still reactions on our words, or on caressing, in the patients’ changing his of breath style and rhythm (unless on a breathing machine).
If we do find tiny nonverbal reactions or changes of the way of breathing, the questions are:

  • Does the patient show this behavior repeatedly (every time) when we bring up a certain topic or do something particular (or when a certain person is arriving or leaving or being mentioned)?
  • Do we rather see the reaction as one of stress or relief?

I would like to summarize a few things that I have learned from the Encounters I had with dying people.
1. Treat dying people as living people.                                                                              2. At a dying bed, get aware of what hinders you from acting and speaking free. Free yourself to get flexible.
3. Observe which tiny reactions (movements, mimics, breath) the dying person shows repeatedly on certain key words, persons, behavior. Are they reacions of stress, relief or interest? Which are the triggers?
4. Dying patients may be in coma, but they’re usually not deaf. Choose your words well. No catastrophic medical descriptions or burial talk.
5. Create rapport. Introduce yourself and tell your aim shortly. Use body contact, use your voice and breath pacing.
6. See a coma patient as someone who is already in trance. Create rapport. Interventions can start right away, without induction
7. The subconscious responds strongly to imagery. Speak in a dream language. Use metaphors, avoid abstract words.
8. Breath pacing and leading can regulate pain or breath problems (and can regulate breath down till it almost stops).
9. Breath, blood pressure and heart rate can also be regulated by metaphors (f. e. of a flying eagle, a pulsating jellyfish or a manta ray).
10. Speak about emotional content rather than about facts.
11. Express in metaphors or more directly that it is possible and good to let go – of live, of psychological problems of body problems.
12. Use metaphoric terms to speak about the good future.
13. Introduce thoughts like “You can love them from the other side”, “things will change, relations go on”.
14. Use negative terms only with a good reason. Except for pacing strong pain, don’t mention “pain” but “body sensations”. Teach this to the relatives.
15. People will rather die when they’re ready to go. What may help: Rituals, a bye-bye from family members, messages of “letting go”.